“My child, I’m just a human being. I pray to
Christ and he replies. If His grace abandoned me, I’d be just
another bum on the streets of Omonia” (Omonia Square in Athens, known
at that time for being populated by drug addicts, prostitutes, and thieves.) –
Elder Paisios
It is St. Paisios’s feast day again, and I was motivated to
do another blog post on him. I read the above quote while ago. I thought it was interesting at first, but
later I was struck by how profoundly true it is. St. Paisios had pretty much
zero success by the world’s standards. As a monk, he lived in voluntary poverty
and never had a family. He was never even ordained into the priesthood. I am
pretty sure he never went to college. He had missing teeth and eventually died
of a very painful disease. There are very few pictures and recordings of him
throughout his life. He hardly had any sort of official job, sometimes
supporting himself by gardening and selling carvings he made. So, on the surface
level, he basically amounted to a bum. Yet, thousands of people went to his funeral and he had the second fastest canonization to sainthood in the recent
history of the Orthodox Church.
I have done some thinking on nostalgia recently. I think I
actually have an idea of what it is. You look back on your life and you see the
story of a human soul. It is incredibly beautiful seeing this human soul which
is you. It is truly precious. You might also feel sad. You look at your life
now and what you have accomplished. You wonder if the life you are living and
what you have accomplished is worthy of the value of your soul which you just
recognized. Your soul has gone through so much in life, but what for? There
might be a little despair in recognizing that the life you lived is not worthy
of the precious value of your soul.
Christ is the bridegroom to our souls. Christianity says
that at the end of time there will be a great wedding feast for Christ and His
Church. Then, we will truly live happily ever after. Without Christ, the soul is
in a dark place. With Christ, the beauty of the soul is fulfilled. I have found
a bit of a cure for nostalgia by reading the lives of people like St. Paisios.
Reading about people with such a close connection with Christ gives me a foretaste
of the wedding feast.
I remember visiting a wealthy family friend many years
ago. He had a stunning wife who had recently given birth to a beautiful baby.
He had a really nice house, a nice car, and an awesome gaming computer. He was
good looking and socially charismatic. I imagine he had a prestigious job as well. I thought, “Man, if I could just be like this guy, I
will have made it.” I believed that all these things would fulfill the value of
my soul. But now I know that even if I could have all of those things it would
be hopeless without Christ. Ironically, it is a would-be bum who has shown me this hope.
To those who do not know, I always recommend the book The Gurus, the Young Man, and Elder Paisios.
A blessed feast day to everyone!
